Let’s just stick with the vaca theme this week, shall we?!
Sorry, not sorry. I can’t stop thinking about Jamaica. It was much needed as vacation always is, but having time with just my husband was the best part.
At first, I felt a little guilty that for the second year in a row we would be leaving Quinn behind. We are a family now, and I know she would love playing on the beach, swimming, etc. I also had a small fear that she would have a difficult time with us being gone.
For the love of Pete, it’s so hard to get time to have genuine conversation with your spouse unless it’s 15 minutes before falling asleep at night. Am I right?! The rest of the day you are both preoccupied with family, work, house duties, etc. You talk, but it can feel like you are two ships passing in the night.
A vacation alone gives you ample amount of time to talk. You learn a bit more about each other and your heart feels full simply because you get this 1:1 focused attention where real listening begins.
How quickly we forget all of the special qualities our spouse has when our attention is watered down between so many tasks and people. One on one moments allow us time to really see our spouse. Eye contact is key here.
For the first time in months, I found myself watching my husband and studying his movements. I fell more in love with him because I was reminded about the little things that attracted me to him from day one.
Oh hey! You actually have time for romantic dinners, hand holding, massages and …. SEX.
Ever been on a plane with a screaming child? Imagine how much worse the parent feels. I don’t even know how people do it. Pushing a stroller around, attempting naps, finding high chairs, fixing sibling spats and changing diapers does not sound like vacation to me. Besides, most little kids aren’t going to remember the trip anyway. I’m all for a family camping trip, but taking a little kid on an airplane does not scream vacation to me… it just screams.
Good for Your Kids
Once I gave it more thought, I understood that leaving Quinn behind would be good for her. She is very attached to me since I stay home with her and lately she has been a Clingy McClingerson. Giving her some time with other people not only helped her language grow, but she learned new things and had an opportunity to be more independent.
Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
I’m going to be really honest and say that before leaving I was actually sick of my daughter. I wanted to cry because I hated feeling that way. Don’t get me wrong, I love her to death, but being home with her makes me feel like I am on duty 24/7.
Imagine what you would feel like if you went to work all day every day… even in the middle of the night… and your boss was demanding, whiny and always up your ass. You would pretend to be sick and take a day or two off. Don’t lie. Vacation would be a God send. I needed a break from her and from motherhood. The time away made me miss her so much that when I came home I found a new energy and looked forward to her snuggles again.
So if you are feeling guilt and wondering whether you should take your kids on vacation, think about these points. It can be okay (and can be a good thing) to leave them behind.
Do you take a couple’s retreat normally?
How do you find time as a couple when you HAVE to take the kids?